Habits

I can successfully do only two things without fail every day: Put in and take out my contacts and brush my teeth. Suffice to say, I don’t keep habits. Hell, I even struggle with taking my (non-essential) medicine everyday.

I blame my hectic childhood. You’d think with all that I went through, I’d latch onto habits as a sense of normalcy, and yet I’m an adult who can’t stick with a 30-day, or even 7-day plan.

For years, I’ve been this way because it felt too overwhelming to do otherwise. I was busy dealing with my anxiety, stress or some deep-rooted issues that demanded a lot of my time. I had a hard enough time finding the energy and fortitude to leave my house, interact with the world and feed myself, let alone exercise four times per week, floss, do yoga, journal, take vitamins and any other habit of the month.

Now, well, I am five some-odd years into therapy and no longer have the crippling anxiety that made it tough to leave my house. The anxiety and stress no longer occupy huge swaths of my time and I find myself with enough time on my hands to dedicate to a habit.

It’s time I hold myself accountable. I can no longer fall back on any excuses for why I can’t stick with a behavior. I am completely capable of maintaining a routine that makes time for the things I actually want to do, like fitness, flossing, eating well and actually taking care of my body. I’ve spent years taking care of my mind and soul, it’s time to turn my attention.

So this is all just a long-winded explanation of my year’s resolution; to challenge myself to keep habits. I’d say “keep just one habit,” but I know I can do better than that. I’ve been too soft on myself for too long and you can’t grow unless you challenge yourself.

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