I am sick of feeling like I should know what I want to do with my life right now. I have lived for many years with the notion that I need to know where I am going, how I am going to get there and when I am going to get there.
Let’s face facts. I have no clue where I am going and no idea how I am getting there. I am 23. It is
very likely a fact that by 30 I will be in a completely different place than where I am now; physically, mentally, job wise, etc.
The sooner I accept the fact that I don’t know exactly where I am going, the better. I can finally learn to be happy and stop doing things for the wrong reasons.
Why do I blog now? To prove I can write and to get a job. Why should I be blogging? Because I love to write. I like to share my thoughts, ideas and feelings. Writing the easiest way I’ve found to express myself. Enough of writing to get a job, to prove myself. That doesn’t make me happy, and I’m sick and tired of being unhappy.
Having a job is crucial; I have to make a living. Following some path to my “dream job”– that seems stupid to me know. Especially because I want to write for a living, there is not going to be a clear cut path. I will likely have many different types of jobs, freelancing gigs, and other opportunities that come my way in my quest to be a writer. In order keep myself happy, I need to throw out convention and stop trying to follow a job path.
So that’s what I am seeking now, happiness. Aren’t we all? Don’t we all just want to be happy? Of course.
Let me know what makes you happy, I want to hear about it.
As a child, I didn’t have a particular interest in writing. Science, biology, and astronomy interested me and I fully intended at the ripe old age of 7 to become a marine biologist/oceanographer/astronomer. Yes, I wanted to be all three. Part of me still does (see my Space Shuttle post).
Writing didn’t really cross my mind until I was about 13, when a teacher told me I couldn’t write.
At little back story is necessary here: When I was eleven I moved to Arizona, which uses the Arizona’s Instrument to Measure Standards (AIMS) test as middle school and high school exit exams. Most students are taught all about this test throughout elementary school. There is a specific writing style required for the AIMS test, a style I’d never encountered (and never seen again) and had a lot of difficulty learning. My fellow students had known it for years and I had to learn it in a short amount of time. As I struggled to grasp this writing style, my rude teacher didn’t bother to help me and instead told me point-blank, “You cannot write” as she handed my F papers.
As I entered high school, I had accepted what my teacher had said as the truth; that I couldn’t write. Luckily, I was met with two great teachers who thought differently. In my sophomore year, I had a teacher who inspired me to write and recognized that I had some talent. Thanks to her, I decided that I wanted to become a writer.
That’s why I want to be a writer. The reason I think I should be a writer is because I have a constant monologue in my head. I am always thinking about how I would write about an experience, or how I would put into words how I’m feeling. Seriously, what I am writing now was thought up as I was walking home from work. I also love grammar, vocabulary, and writing. Yes, I make mistakes sometimes (nobody’s perfect) and yes I still have a lot to learn, but I know that writing makes me happy.