Oh I have been bad. Over a month since my last post. Why? Cause I have been so flipping busy.
I am a freelancer! Whoo-hoo! For the past month and a half, I have morphed into a freelance tech writer for PCWorld and TapCentral. So almost everyday, I’ve been writing. Post after post, news story after news story, on tech goodness the likes of which I couldn’t have imagined I’d be covering back when I graduated. So yay, I have reached phase one of my dream/career of being a writer.
But this post isn’t about that. No, its about life in general external of my work. And life, well its been up and down. Partially because I want to fully realize all of my dreams right now. I don’t want to wait. But when I realized that I can’t control when my dreams are realized, its not easy to deal with. I’ve been butting heads with what I want to do and with what the universe decides to send my way.
I’ve also been struggling with my ideas of the future. See, one of my very closest friends just got married. This isn’t new to me, I know three people from my high school class who have gotten married, all under the age of 25. While I am steadfast with the idea that I am in NO way mentally or emotionally prepared to make such a commitment right now and I am not pinning after a husband, I can’t help but think about what I want and where I want my life to go. At what phase of my life will I be ready for marriage? When I’ve been intrenched in my career for several years? When I reach a certain age?
Bah, the future. So many unknowns it can drive even the most sane crazy. Marriage, family, careers, dreams. I am smart enough to understand that not only can I not know the answers, but I am not supposed to know. If I knew, the all the surprise and wonder of life would be gone. But while I am smart enough to know all of that, I am not always open to believing it. Call me hard headed (most people who know me do), but I usually choose to fight for the answers I am not supposed to know.
Anyway, that has been life for the last month, and pretty much the last year. This year has gone by far too fast for my liking. People say that when you are a kid the years drag on, filled with school and rules. You anxiously wait for your next birthday, so desperate to get old you count your age in fractions and months (as in I am 6 and three quarters). But when you get older, years speed up. This year has sped up and gone by in a flash; in a mere three days I say goodbye to November.